Do you remember asking the question “Are we there yet?” five minutes after getting into the car when you were a little kid? I know I did. And most people I know did too. We weren’t so into enjoying the ride back then, were we? It was all about getting where we were going. And these days, especially for people who are trying to get out of a hard place, dealing with a difficult situation, or suffering painful losses, the ride is anything but enjoyable.
No one has an easy time tolerating painful circumstances.
When we’ve been thrust into hard times, feel like we’ve been kicked in the teeth, or just find ourselves in the throes of difficult circumstances for whatever reason, it’s only natural for us to want resolve them, move past them, and just be done with them as soon as possible.
The problem is that sometimes we’re stuck.
Even though we desperately want to move forward, sometimes we get caught up in going over the past in our minds. We get hung up on regret: what-if, if-only, second-guessing… the works. And then we feel worse instead of better. Even if we’re not Monday Morning Quarterbacking, there’s just no way to push the river of healing. And there’s really no substitute for the tincture of time.
The Four Ps of Inner Peace can go a long way toward making the ride more bearable and even (believe it or not) more enjoyable most of the time.
Practice, Perseverance, Patience, and Perspective are the key ingredients in the basic recipe for Inner Peace, not just when you get “there,” but all along the way.
I wrote about Practice last week. Today is about the next two Ps: Perseverance and Patience.
Perseverance
Perseverance is about “keepin’ on keepin’ on,” even when you don’t want to. Because no one wants to when they’re feeling bad. It’s about pushing yourself gently, even just a little bit when you have to…over and over again.
In moments when you do feel like giving up, take just a moment to validate for yourself the discouragement you are feeling, but then… get right back up on the Perseverance horse.
Start again, as many times as you need to.
Every moment is new, you’re new in every moment, and now is always the right time. Suspend your disbelief, expect a miracle, breathe in and breathe out, and put one foot in front of the other, remembering that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Patience
There’s probably nothing harder than being patient when we feel bad. In fact, the worse we feel, the harder it is. Trying to get away from painful feelings and circumstances is the most natural thing in the world. The only problem is that it doesn’t actually work.
Not really.
Not in the long run.
The truth is that we can’t really pole-vault over things; we have to go through them. And it can take some time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. New habits take time to develop. And that’s why Patience is key.
Perseverance and Patience are two sides of the same coin.
Perseverance is about keeping going, and Patience is about knowing that it takes a little time to get there.
Perseverance is about knowing deep down, really believing it, that steady wins the race every time. And Patience is about knowing deep down and really accepting the fact that the changes you’re trying to make are going to take some time.
The better you get at this balancing act, the better you’ll feel.
Even when you’re dealing with difficult feelings and situations and circumstances, perseverance and patience will make your life a little easier. You’ll find that you enjoy the ride a little more, even when you didn’t expect or plan or even want to be on the journey in the first place. And that makes all the difference in the world.
Click below to watch the video I made for you about Perseverance and Patience.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes! Post your thoughts and questions here.