I recently got a crash course in mindfulness when a close family member received a cancer diagnosis. Suddenly, I was looking down the barrel of a huge loss that would turn my world upside down. My mind was instantly all over the place. I was flooded with feelings of fear and sadness. My stress level sky-rocked. I was everywhere but the present. 

The practice of being present really is an art. And the very state of Presence can be elusive, even to seasoned practitioners like me. Despite twenty years of practicing and teaching mindfulness, it remains a delicate endeavor. The state of Presence, simply by its nature, can be an improbable sweet spot to hit.

So why even bother trying? Because otherwise, you’ll miss out on your life. 

Many things (many of them far less dramatic than a cancer diagnosis) can commandeer our attention. We are all vulnerable to the grip of things like fear (worrisome, future-oriented imaginings) nostalgia (longing for bygone people, places, things, or circumstances), and even regret (persistent rumination about decisions we made and actions we took in the past). It’s easy (and only human) to get caught up in the grasp of it all. 

But if we lack the ability to manage our focus, we remain at the mercy of our tendency to get lost in our heads. And if we do not know how to re-direct our attention when that happens, that’s the ballgame. Because what we focus on is what we experience. And what we experience is our life. Thus Presence is the difference between the probability of well-being and the inevitability of distress.

After three interminable weeks of medical tests, my family got good news. I felt indescribably grateful (if you’ve been through something like that, I know you understand). But the lesson in Presence was not lost on me. And that’s when Presence became the first P of The Five Ps of Inner Peace. 

The power of Presence is the capacity to experience emotional well-being even when you’re struggling. It is the ability to relieve stress anywhere, any time, even when you’re in the thick of it. And it is the gateway to increased confidence in your ability to ride the waves of life’s ups and downs with better quality of life even through the storms.

How might your life be different if you could learn to be more present?

The Five Ps of Inner Peace

Stress! A six-letter “four-letter word” that plagues most of us far too much of the time. Difficult relationships, break-ups and divorces; the challenges of caregiving for aging parents; juggling multiple responsibilities; too much to do and not enough time. Ongoing separation from our friends and families and from cherished traditions and routines. Unwelcome changes of all kinds and Heinz-57 varieties of loss. And now, on top of everything else, pandemic fatigue. 

The effects of stress are cumulative and can negatively impact physical health as well as emotional wellbeing. Difficulty sleeping; trouble concentrating, thinking clearly, or making decisions; overeating or not eating enough; feeling overwhelmed. Fewer “reserves” and less resilience makes us increasingly more vulnerable to illness, interpersonal conflict, and feelings of ineffectiveness, discouragement, sadness, self-recrimination, anger, guilt, and more. 

But did you know that stress actually has less to do with what’s happening outside of us and more to do with what’s happening inside of us? While each person’s unique constellation of life circumstances and situations and resulting stressors is real, valid, and true, it is also true that the more preoccupied with the past or fretful about the future we are, the more stress we’re likely to feel. The more lost in our heads we are, the more distressed we will be.

The ability to return our attention to the present whenever we need to is the key. The Five Ps are how you do it. Presence, Perspective. Perseverance, Patience, and Practice are the basic ingredients. And The Five Ps of Inner Peace is the “how” you put them all together in your life… one breath, one moment, one step, and one day at a time.

How might your life be different if you could get a handle on the five Ps?